Research-Practice Webinar | Empathy, inclusion, and impact: Tapping the potential of relationship-oriented approaches in K–12 schools

Research perspective

When exclusion is common in school, it creates a climate of fear that extends not only to those students being suspended but also to those observing the suspensions. Black students in high-suspension environments report significantly lower school belongingness, even when they themselves have never been suspended. These high-conflict, low-resolution environments force students to navigate a constant fear of punitive responses, resulting in a substantial psychological toll.

For students who experience suspension, particularly first-time suspensions, the impact extends beyond missing school. Dr. Darling-Hammond identifies an “after the snap” phenomenon where suspended students internalize harmful self-concepts, seeing themselves as “bad kids” destined for a “dark future.” They experience deteriorating relationships with peers and family due to feeling ridiculed or stressed. Students surrounded by exclusionary practices develop what Dr. Darling-Hammond calls “fearing the stamp,” or anxiety that suspension will follow them permanently, and experience a “poisoning of relationships” with school adults.

Exclusion results in declines in school connectedness, school climate perception, and academic performance, along with increased dropout rates, depression, and misbehavior. Most concerning, suspension increases the likelihood of both juvenile and adult incarceration. Across 17 different demographic subgroups and six types of punishment, ranging from suspension to arrests, Black students are overrepresented in every category. Those in affluent schools were nearly eight times more likely to be expelled than their white peers.

Relationship-oriented approaches offer an alternative to exclusionary discipline by facilitating caring relationships, helping students feel celebrated and valued, enhancing psychological safety, teaching social and emotional skills, and repairing conflicts when they occur. Their effectiveness is particularly evident during the crucial 5th to 6th grade transition, when suspension rates typically quadruple. Dr. Darling-Hammond found that students who experienced relationship-oriented practices during this transition showed reduced exclusionary discipline, improved academic achievement, and reduced discipline and achievement gaps among Black, Latinx, and white students.

At the school level, a comprehensive study of 220 California middle schools revealed declines in misbehavior, gang membership, victimization, depressive symptoms, sleep deprivation, illness, substance use, and absences, while GPA and school climate improved. Both adoption and abandonment of relationship-oriented practices were critical drivers.

Intersection of research and practice

Despite the “stubbornness” of Black suspension rates, Dr. Darling-Hammong identified 13 California districts that achieve “expansive inclusion” serving Black students while maintaining low suspension rates for all demographic groups. These districts are demographically representative of the state and academically high-performing. Most significantly, they all invested heavily in relationship-oriented practices, which were “central to their DNA—it’s who they were, not just what they did.” 

Common implementation strategies among the 13 districts include:

1. Child- and learning-centered (Maslow before Bloom): Prioritize psychological needs as the foundation for learning.
2. Big down payments and steady investments: Conduct professional development school-wide and implement targeted co-learning that connects teachers struggling with implementation to those successfully adopting new approaches.
3. Go further together: Build collaborative leadership structures and support systems.
4. Policy synergies: Apply a synergistic combination of three evidence-based frameworks:
   • Positive behavioral interventions and supports (PBIS): Use comprehensive “cheat sheets” of desired behaviors and educative responses to build students up while preventing punitive responses.
   • Social and Emotional Learning (SEL): Provide professional development for staff and integrate SEL into curriculum and school structure
   • Restorative practices (RP): Emphasize both community-building practices that strengthen and repair relationships
5. Expansive empathy: Use the EAR framework (empathize, acknowledge, respond) when addressing resistance.
6. Proactive communication: Communicate practices with families before issues arise to build trust and understanding rather than explaining after conflicts develop.

Dr. Darling-Hammond identifies four primary concerns about relationship-oriented approaches and evidence-based pathways to address them:

Discussion/reflection questions

1. What structures could you implement to ensure relationship-oriented approaches become embedded in your organization's DNA?
2. How can you build the support systems and collaborative leadership structures necessary to sustain these approaches?
3. What would it look like to create policy synergies between PBIS, SEL, and restorative practices rather than implementing them as separate initiatives?
4. How might you model empathy at every level of your organization with teachers, staff, students, and families?